Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
