I wish I could punch you in the face.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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