I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
