your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize