4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
