Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
