I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
