He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
