I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You took a bar mat shot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I pour the whiskey from now on
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
