Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
