I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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