Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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