My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
