do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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