then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
