He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
