ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
