Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
