If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
