Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
