i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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