I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
