Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
