Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
