yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
