I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
