just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
