Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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