just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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