I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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