i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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