I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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