i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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