Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
