dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
