I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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