Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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