Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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