no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
