Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
