Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
His nipple licking is glorious
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