I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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