I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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