I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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