i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
