wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
