I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
