I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
