I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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