I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
